We last left our yayed out heroes as they struggled to hook up and bitched at each other, or something. Also, Vin and Pauly were "wifey'd" up. I don't know. This series is about as shocking as discovering another professional athlete cheating on their spouse.
-"Ohhhhhh Yeahhhhh, alligators gonna eat me, yeahhhhh!" -Paul Delvachio
-I think that Jenny and Ron should hook up. Both of their aversion to frog legs was cute. And, shockingly enough, a wise decision. Not shocking, something that the Situation ate was disgusting.
-Ohhhh, Ron and Sam get into a fight, ruin half of their night, then make up in half a second. They are both "happy to get through it" as if it was a healthy moment in their relationship. They are kinda like the black knight from "Monty Python," completely unaware at how damaged they are and completely unwaivering from their dedication to fight on despite the great bodily harm they have suffered.
-I wish Snooki would slap Sammy. Maybe fighting Sammy would get her to leave the show, therefore taking the shackles off of Ron.
Speaking of Ronald, he had a sharper second half swoon than Ubaldo Jimenez. #ithurtsmetosayitbutitistrue
-Snooki and Jenny complain about Sammy's attitude after "everything we have done for her." Like write an anonymous letter, lie about writing it, then freeze her out from your friendship. That said, Sammy is still a bigger cunt than Brett Favre.
-Most likely to have skin cancer? Love that Pauly nominates himself.
-"Mike's just mad that Vinny pulled the robbery on his best friend Pauly." -Ron. Vinny pulls the perfect revenge for Sitch's moves to steal his lady, break up the bromance. And since Mike is definitely 20 percent gay, this hurts even more.
-"We know who is the fakest one in the house." -J-Woww to Mike. "I'm not saying it, but someone else said. I mean, I actually said it to you, to piss you off, but I didn't mean it. I mean I meant it, because you are fake, but I'm not saying it, someone else said it about you, but I'm saying it to your face. But not me. Pardon me, I'm gonna go step outside and smoke while you figure out who said you were fake to me, that I clearly didn't say."
I may have elaborated that quote a tad, but J-Woww just pulled the "I'm not saying, I'm just saying" line and simpleton Mike took it hook, line and sinker. By the way, she is clearly the fakest in the house. Her boobs are 150% fake.
-"Yous are all fucking crazy." -Pauly D, summing up the entire show in admirable fashion.
PS, Snookers, what exactly did you anticipate would happen when you ratted on Pauly and Vin to J-Woww. That she would calmly and rationally discuss it? That she would sit on said info and bring it up off air? J-Dubdub is gonna be a pro wrestler, she's gonna get pissed.
-I love that Sammy doesn't say bye to J-Woww. Best thing she has ever done. Passive-aggressive low self-esteem classic move right there. This show could really be used as a teaching guide in every middle school across the nation.
Then it's over. They leave. Go back to Jersey you fucking WOPS. See you next season. I only have one question...
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GELATTO SHOP?
Which may be answered next week in the reunion show, which we have to wait a whole fucking week for. Not that I'm surprised, this is MTV after all, and it is better than waiting until January 6th for another episode. THREE MONTHS without Guidos...no bueno.
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