I'm chock full of awesome. I have many friends. I do pretty awesome stuff. I'm pretty interested in myself, and what better way to be self important than to share my awesomeness with my friends. The following are all things I have recently enjoyed, be it food, music or books.
I hope you like it as much as I do...because you will.
TV:
Archer: The funniest show on TV. If you aren't watching, I really don't like you.
Food:
Mexican Pork: Get a crock pot. Get a nice sized pork shoulder. Add a few cups of water. Turn crock pot on low for about 8 or more hours. Place pork in fridge until fat solidifies. Rid yourself of that fat. Put pork back in crock pot for another couple hours with one big jar of salsa and whatever else you want (I go with jalapenos, chilis, hot sauce, black bean and corn). Let it cool. Eat in burritos, eat in tacos, eat in on nachos, etc.
4 Loko Chili:
P.S. They are now selling 4 Loko minus the energy. This is some bullshit. You know how to counter this P.C. crap? By 5-Hour Energy and dump that shit in. NEXT LEVEL DRINKING MANEUVER.
Roasted Tomato Pasta: Easy peasy and delicious. I would recommend for a date, but it's heavy on the garlic. But I love garlic, so making with a garlic woman would be tits. Plus, then I know she ain't no vampire.
What you need; about 10-12 Roma Tomatoes, a clove of garlic (crushed or minced), Italian Dressing, crushed red pepper flakes, salt, pepper. Whatever pasta you like (fettuccine is bawse)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Wash and halve tomatoes. Cover a large baking tray with aluminum foil. Place tomatoes on foil flat side up. Mix about 1-2 cups of Italian dressing, tablespoon red pepper, teaspoon of salt & pepper together. Put about a teaspoon of this mixture on each tomato. Drizzle remaining sauce over tomatoes.
Cook tomatoes 45min to 1 hour, until the tops start to brown. In the meantime, get your pasta cooked, and whatever side you want. Once tomatoes and pasta are done, mix about 1/2 cup of dressing and some more red pepper in a large bowl. Place 1/2 of the tomatoes in bowl, and then mash. Then, dump in pasta and toss. Place remaining tomatoes on top. Serve with a red wine, I recommend a nice 2009 Charles Shaw Merlot aka 2 Buck Chuck.
If the pussy isn't glossy at that point, better slip something in the vino.
Drank:
El Generalisimo: In a large pint glass half full of ice, mix equal parts Tequilla and whiskey (my favorites; Evan Williams and Jose Cuervo) until the glass is roughly 2/3 full of booze. Fill rest of glass with coke. Garnish with lime.
Hangover Cure:
Pedialyte : After three El Gens, and you will want to chug a bottle of Peidalyte prior to bedtime. Chock full of electrolytes and stuff to keep babies healthy, it is a lifesaver to cure hangovers. Best $2.99 you'll ever spend.
BOOKS! Read Them:
Since I am destitute these days, I do what all us poor folk do...go to the library. Once there, I fight off several hobos who are intent on whacking it on the free Internet so that I can print resumes (I prefer to masturbate in the privacy of my house looking through the windows of my rather attractive lesbian neighbors, natch). Anyway, one of the perks of this library is that there are a lot of awesome books to read there, who knew?
Open, By Andre Agassi: This might sound awful, as tennis is boring and everything you know about Still 'Dre is that he once married Brooke Shields, wore a wig and smoked meth, but it is really a great read. Agassi and his ghostwriter tell his life story, dealing with Agassi's central conflict; his hatred of tennis and his inability to be successful at anything else. It is frighteningly honest, extremely detailed and a very absorbing.
God Save the Fan: Will Leitch: The guy who started Deadspin.com, so therefore the guy who allowed Brett Favre's penis to become the Man of 2010, wrote this book a couple years ago. A bunch of hilarious essays vaguely tied together in an attempt to show how sports fans are getting screwed, and how there might be hope for better things. All this done with extraordinary snark and biting one-liners. So like a longer, better, version of this blog.
The Power of One: Bryce Courtenay: Best book I have ever read, and I've read it about 10 times. Story of a South African who rises above the extreme racism through the sport of boxing. That is probably a crappy, trite summary, but it is a simply splendid book, wonderfully descriptive and inspiring, with characters that I almost feel are my best friends (it is really hard to review a book without sounding gay).
MUSICA, The ten banginest bangers in Sack's library right now:
1. Irish Celebration: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (bagpipes + drunken Irish= Yuuuuuuup).
2. Bad Guy: Wiz Khalifa. Stargate (Black n' Yellow) with just another banger. He's moving up to Jim Jonsin levels in my book.
3. Living Proof: Em and Royce Da 5'9". Bad meets evil, once again. Now that Slaughterhouse is signed to Shady, I expect many ripped beats in this fashion. Honorable Mention; Royce: Walking in the Rain.
4. The Show Goes On: Lupe Fiasco. This makes up for the fact that Lupe forgot which school he was at and called us CU. Almost.
5. This Is My World: Chamillionaire ft. Big K.R.I.T. I love Cham, and this hits hard, with his always solid harmonizing. KRIT is allegedly not Bobby Creekwater, but he sounds exactly the same.
6. Something New: Black Prez. Foco's own goes pretty hard on this beat uptempo, pretty poppy beat. I'm expecting a solid Foco/CSU anthem out of him soon, especially if the Rammies go dancing.
7. Since The 90s: Pimp C ft. Gator Mane & E-40. RIP Pimp, but from beyond the grave he brings it on this throwback track.
8. H.A.M.: Kanye and Jigga. Hard. As. A. Motherfucker. (Travy Barker Drummer Mix makes it even better, if that is your bag).
9. Teach You To Fly/Stoned: Wiz Khalifa. Couldn't pick between these two, but Wiz is fucking smooth. CD of the year candidate, for sure.
10. Pass Out: Tinie Tempah ft. Chamillionaire. British rapper on a techno heavy beat, with the Mixtape Messiah. Yeah, I'm in. The OG version of this was British song of the year, apparently.
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