Broncos Preview & I May Have Overreacted to the CU Loss

It has been a rough week. After losing that abortion of a game I kinda blacked out (due to the alcohol and the anger) and woke up in Colorado 17 hours later holding an empty gas can and empty box of matches.

For this, I would like to apologize to the municipality of Boulder. Things got a little out of hand and boy are your mountains dry. Maybe you hippie/yuppie fucks should stop building houses in the middle of the forest (or, just blame Global Warming. Which I totally believe in, but this fire wasn't caused by global warming, it was caused by urban sprawl). Anyway, sorry bout the 135+ houses, BUT YOU MADE ME DO THIS!!

Yeah, CSU sucked some world class dick last weekend. The only bright side is we were really young in really important positions. Also, CU maybe isn't as terrible as we thought (Hopefully this is true). Now we take on the Pistol packing fudgepack from Reno 9-1-1.

They feature uber-quarterback Colin Kapernick and a very good offense. Our defense is meh. Their defense kinda blows, our offense is an insult to anemic. If I were a betting man I'd take Nevada and the points. I'm not, I'm a fan, so I'll be getting drunk at Kristy's MVP Sports Bar with my 12 CSU friends and seeing if the bartenders yell at us for tailgating in the parking lot (During the CSU game we had about 60 Ram fans show up, but I'm willing to wager the turnout is a bit more tame this week). I don't think we will win, and if we score a touchdown I'll buy everyone a shot (I think I'm safe).

Onto the Broncos:

I could do an in-depth preview like my Nuggies preview of last year, but the NFL is so overdone that there isn't anything I can really add. Still, I owe you a quick preview, so here goes:

-Tebow x 1000.
-Doom hurt OH NOES SEASON IS OVER!!!!
-Orton not blacked out, able to differentiate jerseys this season. Last season he could only see Brandon Marshall due to B-Marsh's magnificent, glowing pimp hand.

-You can just call Eric Decker "Eddy McCaffery." (Unless he plays like Kircus).

Not Ed McCaffery...yet.

-Brian Dawkins, still insane, still good. One more year till he is Lynchian.
-Knowshon "The Situation" Moreno is hurt. Still. Or is it always?
-All our RBs are dead.
-Tebow x10000000000000
-Rex Ryan's swearing is loveable. Josh McDaniel's swearing is dickish. The difference, Sexy Rexy wins. Get it, Josh.
-Champ Bailey is still really, really good.
-People are picking the Chiefs and Raiders over us. Seriously, it has come to this. Kiss my motherfucking ass, people. Read that sentence. Then digest. We may be injured, but really, the Raiders. You are aware they are the Raiders, right?
-Jabar Gaffney is gonna be fantasy gold.
-I will attend the Nov. game against the Chargers here in San Diego. I will wear my trademarked "Omar Little Shank-Proof Yellow Page Vest."
-Denver will make the playoffs. We will lose in the Wild Card round to the goddamn Colts.

Fuck Marmalard,

Sack