If you aren't cheering for the Saints you have no soul...

Or you are Scottish and fail to understand what America is all about. I really don't understand why else you would cheer for the Colts? Pey-Pey is funny, but when he plays football he is kind of a dick ("Goddammit Donald") and so good it isn't fun to watch (except that pass to Austin Collie. That may bethe best pass I have ever seen). But it is like rooting for the robots in the Matrix, instead of Trinity to die. It is just more fun hate the Colts.

Even Big Celly Cell, the biggest Colts fan I know is over the Colts this year. Check this:

I cannot write a paragraph about why people should cheer for the Colts, because they are too dominant.  For the first time in years, I found myself thinking that cheering for the Colts was not as fun as it had been in previous years.  The Colts success began to annoy me, and then they sat the starters against the Jets, and you remember Manning's face on Sportcenter. The front office delivered a slap in the face to Peyton and the boys by sitting them for the half.  I do not believe that Indy or Manning needs another Superbowl to cement his place in history.  It would be real nice to see Sean Payton, Brees, and Vilma get a ring.  Not to mention the moral of New Orleans if the Saints go on to win.

If you need a reason to cheer for the Colts, look no further than number 18 and the rookie head coach.

Uhhh, if the Colts lost Cell then they sure as hell aren't getting me on their side. And why would I cheer for their coach? The corpse in Weekend at Bernie's was more animated. I like to see a coach who has earned it, which would be Sean Peyton. He and Brees have turned that franchise around.

Then I asked my boy Kevan to give me reasons to cheer for the Saints. He is the biggest Lil' Wayne fan I know, even bigger than Teej and I, so that qualifies him to speak on the Nolia. Here is what he came up with:

Top 3 Reasons the Universe wants the Saints to Win
Everybody likes a little bit of an underdog right?
1) Fate: Archie Manning was a straight up iron man when he threw for Los Santos 3 odd decades ago, and he raised both of his Super Bowl Champion sons in the city of New Orleans. He was kind of the Brett Favre of his day, played the bulk of his career in NOLA, and spent the last two seasons being a troubadour as a Houston Oiler and a MN Viking. Now that both his sons got rings, its time for his city and alma mater to bring home the hardware for the sake of symmetry.
2) Drew Brees’ next contract: Over the last few days, ESPN has been force feeding all of us the fact that Peyton and Drew are gonna re-up next year with their teams. Summarized, Peyton is up to his nuts in the front office’s guts in Indy, we all know he’s getting paid no matter what, probably fixin to be the highest paid player in the the history of the sport, and he deserves it, he’s the best play caller and smartest all around QB certainly of his generation, and in the running for that of every other generation. That said, Brees is more exciting to watch because he won’t duck away from the hit in order to make the play, and while he’s not getting Peyton money no matter what, the first Lombardi trophy in New Orleans would probably earn him several million more dollars and lock him up for 5+ years in the Big Easy. Another fun fact, both Manning and Brees are represented by the same agent, and THAT guy is going to be patting himself on the back in one of his two new matching Audis this offseason, so I want to see the talent get their nut too…
3) DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA THE PARTY THAT WILL TAKE PLACE IF THE SAINTS WIN?: The city of New Orleans has already preemptively closed schools and city services for the Monday after the game, win or lose, rain or shine. This is backseat to the fact that this falls right in step with Mardi Gras season. If the Saints were to win this one, there would be so much Southern Comfort flowing and so many titties warming the hearts of everybody lucky enough to be in that part of the world this year, it gives me the gym class rope-climb tingle just thinking about it. I hope there’s a boy who gets his dream come true to meet Drew Brees in 10 years or so and gets to look him in the eye and tell him “I was conceived on a kitchen prep table at a Bourbon Street Bar/Restaurant the night you won Super Bowl 44, thanks for that.” New Orleans is one of the premier partying towns that America has, next to maybe only Las Vegas. This party will make 1999 look like a fuckin petting zoo. If the world DOES end in 2012, December 20 2012, the supposed night before those crazy (extinct) Mayans think the cosmos are hitting the reset button would be the only thing even in the same zip code as the Saints’ Super Bowl victory bender. I’ve got to stop or I might pass out.
Get some NOLA, get some 

And then he added this, which may be the most important reason:

Weezy Fuckin Baby

Prediction: I expect a very high-scoring game with the Saints trying to keep up with Peyton and the Colts offense all day. Finally, Manning will throw a pick and Brees will lead a quick TD drive to put the Saints up 38-36. But he will leave about 35 seconds left on the clock. Too much time, it seems, for Peyton. He will move the ball down the field and set Matt Stover up for a 38-yarder to win the game. Stover's kick will go up, appear to be straight down the pipe before....

THE WINDS FROM HURRICANE KATRINA COME OUT OF NOWHERE TO PUSH THE FIELD GOAL WIDE RIGHT!!!!!! OMFG

Yes, the Saints will literally win because of Hurricane Katrina. Not metaphorically. GOD doesn't make mistakes. He was testing Drew Brees and Reggie Bush with that whole Hurricane/Slurricane thingy. And my Broncos will never win a Super Bowl again because I got drunk and laughed at Katrina. Drew Brees didn't laugh, he was picking up orphans and throwing them to safety in Baton Rouge. Jon Vilma actually emptied all the water out of the 9th Ward with just a single bucket. The Saints players literally all are now Sainted by the Church for their heroic actions. That is why they are in fact named the Saints. Look it up. Lake Pontchartrain was actually build by Archie Manning. Who is Peyton's dad!!!!! Peyton can't beat the Saints. It is cosmically ordained.

Oh, and that storm was also sent to punish New Orleans for all the gays and debauchery, so since all those people are now dead God doesn't dislike the Big Easy anymore. George Bush new what he was doing when he told New Orleans to "just fucking deal with it yourselves." He was preparing Drew Brees for the Super Bowl. I mean, the Colts pass rush is tough, but Breesus Christ stood tall in the pocket and delivered while being perused by floodwaters that were too strong for the levies. Dwight Freeney and Rashard Mathis, shit, he won't be bothered a bit.

I am also sure the memory of the Saints' championship will make Weezy F so happy. And isn't that really all we care about?