Jersey Shore Hook-Up: Week 4

Guess what? Not much is going on in the sports world, so I live Tweeted Jersey Shore. Now I redo it. Lazy? You bet. Entertaining? Duh.

Mind you these Tweters began at 4:00am, after I got off for work. And keep in mind I finish two monster Whiskey-Sprites while playing my drinking game.

My tweets are numbered and in bold, followed by further explanation not in bold, as if that is needed. Enjoy:



1.  Jersey Shore Drinking Time. @greenaaker turn off your texts haha. The Situation is that I am going to get drunk.
-Last week's Tweet of the Week, if I had actually done that Sack-Up, would have been:
GreenAaker:

Waking up16 times by drunken tweets about #Jerseyshore between the hrs of 3a.m.-6a.m. = Im officially unsubscribing via SMS 2 @messiahthadon
Sorry Benjamin, but at least I warned you this time.


2.  Ron-Ron keeps talking about "The Equation" with Sam. Don't lie Ronny, you can't do math.
-Ronnie's laugh is seriously the dumbest, non-retarded laugh I have ever heard. Brennan, the retard my roomate once punched, laughed more intelligently.


3. J-Woww needs to break it off. Worst two minutes of this show ever. I'm not watching these people for relationships.
-Ugghhhh. Drag. It. Out. A. Little more MTV.
Shit, I couldn't even handle typing it that slow. Let J-Woww get single already. We don't need to wait four episodes for her to get gangbanged. I know it will happen eventually. Pauly D will make her Miss D eventually.


4. "Sex is natural...yada yada" Sam's description. Ron-Ron: "Yeah, we smushed." Succinct, Ronald. Nice.
-Hard to capture this in 140 characters, but nothing illistrates the differences between men and women more than this. Sam goes on for quite a while describing what happens, then they cut to Ron and he sums it up in three words. Ronnie, a journalists dream.


5. Thank God for Sit and Pauly D, at least they have fun.
-You know, and try for unprotected sex. What kind of asshole joins an MTV show with a significant other. Has this ever worked?


6. Snoooookkkkkkerrrrrss gone get done up, y'all. I have a boner. Can't fast forward commercial break fast enough. 
-MTV really played this up well. I was more premature than Jason Biggs in anticipation for this Sucker Punch Heard Round the Shore.


7. Another commercial break...Fuck it, pausing it so I can watch the punch online....Whammy.


8. http://www.nj.com/entertainment/celebrities/index.ssf/2009/12/mtv_jersey_shore_snooki_punch.html Snookered.
-But, like real life, I just found a video online to satisfy my craving.


9. Oh man, her hat just goes flying. 
-It is like a snuff film. I assume. Never watched one. But if there was a Snookers snuff film, I would probably download it.


10. Another commerical break = more watching snookie get punched.

11. Russ/Ron...Shit, I'm surprised Snookie was that close.
-There is a friends episode with a Russ/Ross story line. I may be gay for comparing this.

12. Vinnie is the Ronaldo Balkman of this show. What role does he play? The man is funny, get him some airtime.
-Oh, I finally relate this to sports. About got damn time.

13. Snookers is so pissed she hasn't gotten pounded yet by a dude. Time for the Universe to teach her what Irony is...
-I really wish her mother would have been next to her when she got snapped on. I was fully expecting this. WHAT A FUCKING LETDOWN, MTV.

14. That guy was a (gym) teacher, so maybe he was trying to teach her. In the old "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes" way.
-The joke is that you tell a woman with two black eyes "Nothing. Because you already told her twice." Fucking character limit.

15. I am so calling Brad Lidge "The Situation" next time I'm at a Phillies game.
-hahaha. Yeah jacko2323 said, "When it comes to "closers" nobody is ever going to compare "The Situation" to Mariano Rivera." first, but he also watched it first. I would have come up with this joke as well, it is easy.

16. Jose Mesa actually translates in "La Situation" in Spanish.
-See, I just topped it.

17. J-Woww dancing with "Some toolbag with a blowout." Really narrows it down there. "You see any..." "Only when I open my eyes" /Harold&Kumar'd
-Does J-Woww's boyfriend spell his name Taaaammmm. Because he should. Or maybe Ta-M. Taw-Emmm. He can't be just Tom.

18.I love how even Guidos hate frat guys....@valerie_jb kinda said it first. Greek Life really has a tough PR job. Maybe I should apply there.
-Seriously, being in PR for the KKK is easier than trying to stick up for a frat these days.

19. MTV would pull the actual punch yet make the whole thing a two part episode.
-But you know what this means? More Snooookies fun next week. Holla.