Pregaming Post-Analysis: UCLA

I was able to make a quick trip up to the City of Angels last week to watch CSU choke against UCLA. Which was a bummer. But I salvaged the trip by getting drunk and spreading my reputation as the Greatest Drunken Athlete of All-Time. Here are some quick highlights of trip and some ideas if you plan on ever pregaming there.

Before this trip all I knew about UCLA was from sports and Facebook stalking the one girl from the Dale who went there. Now, having spent less than 24 hours there while the school is out on Christmas break, I am pretty much an expert.

-There are a whole lot of Asians. Which was fitting, because the only CSU person still in LA was the Azn, and I was meeting up with her.

-Here is a revelation no one has ever had: LA traffic sucks. The 405 blows. I sat on it for quite a while. I would suggest avoiding it, if possible. Might be quicker to circumvent the world in the other direction.

-When it gets dark in LA, I get lost really easily. One time Kilometers and Mr. No-Longer-Invited drove around in circles trying to find Occidental. I did this again while trying to get back to UCLA while on a beer run.

-Obviously I am a God amongst mortals when it comes to drinking games, but even I was surprised at how impressive I was at Beruit after not playing it since very early September. In my first game I made five straight cups in rebuttal, and then all three in overtime. Probably my greatest individual beer pong comeback. Somewhere John Elway-God looked on from above and smiled. The fact that my performance came against some frat boys made me even happier.

-UCLA sucks this year at basketball, yet they still wanted to charge $40 a ticket. Go fuck your own nostrils. We ended up bribing a security guard to let four people in for $40 total. There were probably 30 CSU fans there, and 8,000 UCLA ones.

-I was also thoroughly unimpressed with Pauley Pavillion. Semi-Mobyish with a lot less goofy charm. A little more claustrophobic, except on one end where they have no stands behind the basket for like 30 feet. It was strange, and almost high schoolish. Every other facility at UCLA was fucking amazing. I wandered around for a while and the tennis courts almost made me want to wear some fagtastic Capri pants and mimic that little Spanish fruit Rafa Nadal.  ALMOST.

-CSU was in control of the game, but UCLA remembered who they were and asserted dominance while CSU panicked. It was too bad, as I could have one day told my grandkids about the time I watched CSU's basketball teams beat the great UCLA Bruins. I'll probably just lie and say I was starting center for the Rams.

-You can drink alcohol at UCLA football games, but I don't think so at basketball games. But UCLA also plays games at the Rose Bowl, not on campus.

-We pregamed at the Sigma Nu frat house. There were five people there total. It houses about 40 normally. Would be a fun house to party and pregame at for a big basketball game, as it has some big rooms and even a semi-basketball court in it's courtyard. I guess Andrew Bynum crashed a party there a couple years ago.

-I looked at a few composites of the classes, ranging from 1982ish-now, and while some years were missing, and I didn't look that closely, I noticed that until about 1995 the pictures were almost all white (some white people with hispanish names). To counteract, of the three people left while I visited, there was one whitey, one Polynesian and one Arabic person. To reinforce stereotypes, the whitey went to bed and the other two played videogames.




What did I learn: UCLA probably isn't the biggest party school, I'm still cool, I need an Iphone for directions and if possibliy racist frats can change, so can I. Or something.