World Cup Semifinals Preview: Netherlands vs. Uruguay

The Orange vs. the Sky Blue. That will look beautiful on your tv. Not mine, because my TV is tiny, but on those high def thingymawhoos. The Guays advanced in the most dramatic fashion in their previous match as the Ghanarians chocked away the match. Not to be outdone, the freaky, deakey Dutch came back from a halftime deficit to wax the beautiful Brazilians. Winner gets slaughtered by the Spanish or Nazis.

Why to root for Neverland? Think the Saints celebration of the Super Bowl was booze filled and wild? Well the drug-fueled orgies in Amsterdam would blow that. And suck it. Dry.

-Also, it is very impressive that the Dutch have come so far in this tournament while wearing wooden cleats. No wonder Sneijder gets so much power on those shots, ya.

-They like cheese. I like cheese too. And I like waffles. And Belgium beer. Like Fat Tire and 1554

-Fuck, the Dutch are pretty schweet.

-Bonus, when you look up famous dutch people at least 5 of the actors on the Wiki list are porn stars. See, stereotypes are true, the Dutch like VANDERSEXXX!


Why not to root for the Netherworlders? They let Hitler kill all the jews, including hide and seek all-star Anne Frank. Poor form.

-Jordan Van Der Sloot.



-Windmills also fucking blow.


Why to root for Uruguay? They have about as many people in their country as Colorado does, 3.4 million.

-Diego Forlan's beautiful flowing locks.

-The fact that Luis Saurez made the save of the World Cup.


Why root against Uruguay? You hate Mexicans, and they remind you of Mexicans.

-They tend to play pretty conservative and rarely play in high-scoring contests.

-If I can't find it on a map, I'm not a fan.

-Just the name of the country alone seems to insult me. I am not a Gay!


Who is Sack rooting for? I support the Guays. Forlan!