We busted out the magic orange jerseys and sucker punched those jerk-offs from Moscow in dramatic fashion. Finally, since I started this blog one year ago, I am able to write about a CSU football victory. THINK ABOUT THAT!
This one had all the makings of another trademarked CSU cuntpunch loss (i.e. Idaho 2009, New Mexico 2006, 2007 & 2009, Wyoming 2009, Air Force 2006, etc.). We couldn't play defense, committed numerous penalties, missed extra points and it wasn't televised, so everything was relayed to me via text message/iPhone apps (which is the absolute worst way to receive bad news, as I have a tendency to blame my expensive ass phone for this news and turn it into projectile fired blindly into the sky).
But CSU came through. Petey Thomas stepped up like a gotdamn boss, Ray-Ray Carter showed us that Crenshaw steez that made him a big-time recruit and Ben DeLine made up for his previous error and TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF. (P.S. I spent Saturday night live-tweeting Dumb & Dumber. Check it out on Twitter. Just start the movie at the redemption/scooter scene and check out the #livetweetingdumbndumber hastag. Maybe my finest work ever).
I am just so excited that the Rams won't be carrying a 13-game losing streak into the TCU game next week, which I will be attending. I was really worried it would be a shitty gameday atmosphere (though I'm sure CSU will roll out the red carpet for me, #I'mkindabigdeal), but we shouldn't have a tough time getting asses in the seats next week. CSU students and fans seemed to be out in force Saturday, and with the highest-ranked team to ever play at Hughes and the Mighty Sack plus his parents in attendence, wow, shit is gonna be WILD.
BRONCOS:
We lost. Peyton Manning is really good. Even when outplayed by Kyle Orton (which kinda boggles the mind).
Still, five trips to the red zone and no touchdowns, that'll cost you every time.
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate Austin Collie. At some point I'll put together my all-Hater team, but I know Marmalard is QB and Collie has the slot WR spot locked up.
Still, there are some definite bright spots for the Bronchachos so hopefully we figure it out.
(AND why, if we has a Tebow-Jesus, is he not our goalline fullquarterback mcJumppasser? What the fuck good is Virgin Air?)
Rockies:
You guys fought hard, but you were snakebit this week and then outpitched by the Giants. Tulo and Cargo can't do it all every single game. It was a fun season, but a little more consistency in June and July would've helped out a whole lot right now.
Let's find a veteran inning-eating starter, a couple solid relievers and a first baseman who can hit. Then we shall dominate.
And if somebody could teach Dexter Fowler to hit, that would be great.
Advanced Scouting:
I went to this weekend's SDSU game. That shit is soooooooo weak compared to a CSU game. And I don't think we even are in the top-40 as far as football game atmosphere goes.
I'll break this down further for the pre-SDSU/CSU game, but the only good thing about SDSU games is the girls.
I also learned that the Asstechs (tehee) are pretty good, but Utah State is maybe the worst team I have ever watched. Keep in mind, I watched CSU get dick-kicked by Nevada two weeks ago. How USU could go from losing by seven AT Oklahoma to a 40-point ass beating by State is astounding. I guess it shows just how wild the swings can be in college football. So much is based on emotion and matchups that don't translate or transfer from game-to-game.
U-Bald-O?: I got a marine recruit buzzcut on Saturday as well. Once it became clear that the Rockies and Tulo were done, I decided my mullet dream was over as well. I literally had about 100 people watch me get a haircut and I found out that I have a lumpy head. I'm just glad that my hair will grow back.
"Keep a fresh bald head like I just left Chemo"
Melo: Good riddance. Enjoy New Joisey and trading away any chance of basketball success to help your fat, no-talent baby momma get another shitty VH1 show.
Oh, as well, I will wager that I watch more
(This is a lie, I like Bird and Lawson as well, and I tolerate Chauncey. Everyone else, you are on notice. Remember, my season preview is coming up. I'll put you bitches on blast!)
I leave you with some lovely musica courtesy of @blackprez
"Black and purple, but we rock the orange too, with the navy blue, and the powder too, gold on the side, you know how we do, and I rep my school, C-S-U"
-Sack
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