The Weekend Sack-Up: JaMarcus Russell Ate My Dreams

How? How the fuck did that happen? JaMarcus "Big Fat Waste of Life" Russell just shat triumphantly on the Broncos. The man born to throw interceptions somehow managed to drive about 80 yards in the final minutes of a game to beat the Broncos by one fucking point.

The best part of it all? This happened literally seconds after watching the Chargers win in some truely cuntastic fashion. Cinci had just managed to tie up the Chargers and was 15 seconds from going to OT. All they had to do was keep the Chargers in bounds, as SD has no timeouts left. They weren't going to try a 67-yard field goal. Instead the bumblefuck DBs for the Bengals shit themselves and gave up a 15-yard out pattern and Nate Kaeding kicked a fucking bomb to win the game.

When that kick went through I knew the Broncos were going to find a way to lose. It was in the cards. I think I have some theories why:

-God hates me and wants to punish me. Probably for the fact that I habitually masturbate and am generally a bad person. And for making fun of Brittany Murphy (Seriously, her greatest role was as the 3rd lead in Clueless. Gimme a break. Aston Kutcher ditching January Jones for her and then moving on to Demi Moore has got to be the world's biggest Punk'd episode. I think Brittany was going to spill the beans so Aston had to have her killed. Or she was just going to out him for being gay).
 

-Someone teach the Broncos coaches the Heimlich maneuver. Damn.

-The Broncos defense is all about eating. They mime eating after big plays on defense, Darrell Reid's Twitter talks about not eating lunch or breakfast and going to the game hungry, etc. Well, guess what? JaMarcus' fat ass is always hungry. He is just a big, hungry Bammer. JaMarcus can out eat everybody. He is like that Kobiyashi guy. Mow, Mow, Mow. Always eating. Which is why, as soon as Charlie Frye got KTFO (Cue Chris Tucker: Knocked the FUCK out!) it made perfect sense for the Big Fat QB to come eat everything, especially my dreams.

-The refs sucked donkey balls. D-Reid and the Broncos defensive linemen couldn't eat, especially on that last drive, because they were getting mouth-raped by Raiders lineman. And B-Marsh was held at least two times in the end zone by Raiders cornerbacks, yet got no calls. But Broncos DBs were flagged twice on the last drive to keep it alive. Andre Goodman, what the fuck were you thinking? That pass interference on 3rd-and-29 was really helpful.

Rewatching the last drive, Robert Ayers has a clear shot to go after JaMarcus on the fourth-and-10, but after he beats two guys he gets tackled from behind. No one likes to blame the refs, but sometimes you have to point it out. But the refs didn't run all over the Broncos. The Broncos tackling made the Raiders' backs look like they were Chris Troxel (wonder what happened to that kid) and McLovin trying to stop Adrian Peterson in Red Rover (That is a confusing sentence, but I STICK BY IT.)

-Maybe the Refs had lasers in their eyes.

-Knowshown doesn't know how to score at the goalline. Before the Broncos last field goal, all he had to do on the second down run was outrun the Raiders to the Pylon, but he tried to cut up the field too soon. He can't run over people in the pros and he isn't an everydown back. Please try Peyton Hillis or Lamont Jordon instead. Fuck, those option aren't that great either.

-Big, talented, troubled WR. Learn from Chris.

-We lost to this Buzzcock. We don't deserve playoffs.

In the club: Work has been really boring. Only one semi-interesting thing: My boss had to kick out a one-armed man who was punching someone, and all he could think about was how he was going to handcuff him if he had to. A lofty question.

I also got another free night of drinking with my entire work crew. This time I waited until I left the club to black out. Then my boss, trying to show off his impressive Judo skills or something, Karate Kid-style swept my leg, sending me ass over teakettle into a bench. So even if I wasn't blacked out before, I added a concussion and head wound to the equation. Slept like a fucking baby though.


So if this is a little disoriented, it isn't because I was drunk this time, it is just that I now understand how it is to think like Troy Aikman.


CSU Football: On the rise. We just signed a 4-star QB in Pete Thomas. That is ballin' as shit. And he is from ballin' as shit San Diego and going to enroll at CSU for the Spring. I think I should stalk find him to make sure he is up to the CSU QB dranking standard. BVP was plum hammered all the time. Justin Holland has been blacked out every time I have met him, so that explains why he threw the football around with less care as than Kappa at Wash Bar (Last year Holland gave Nasty N one of the three beers he had pilfered from Drunken Monkey before they closed). Billy Farris crashed parties at my house. Eastman is Mormon, he doesn't have the drinking chops. Uncle Nico might be a threat, but I'm not sure I want Guidos leading my team. Borky hangs out with Forristall, so I'm gonna say he is far too dumb to play QB; that kid lowers IQs like no ones business. Get after it, Pete, grab that Keystone Light and lead the Rams to the promised land (which is hopefully a Poinsettia Bowl bid. That would be a nice present for me next Christmas).

CU Football: Trending down. CU's ex-QB James Cox may be the newest employee at my club. Any and all comments about the difference of value between CSU and CU degrees can now be throw out the fucking window. A former football player at a "supposedly" better school should have better connections than I, right? Or maybe our schools are basically even, minus the fact that WE BEAT YOUR ASSES AT EVERYTHING THIS YEAR.


CSU Basketball: Trending up. We kicked the Buffs ass and then snuck by some Big Sky teams. 8-3 is already almost better than last season. They go for win #9 tomorrow at UCLA and I will be in attendance. I might just rush the court if we win, even though UCLA sucks. I'll just pretend we beat Bill Walton, Lew Alcindor and John Wooden.

Fact: CSU actually beat UCLA in 1961, a year UCLA went to the final four and was coached by Wooden. Fact: This shocked the shit out of me.
Fact: Jesse Carr is back, which means classic quotes like this one: (/Dwight Schrute)
"It's not like we're playing pud teams, either. We're getting in good games, and everyone's giving us their best shot."
Only someone from Ainsworth, NE would use the phrase "pud teams." Or someone from Carbondale.

Plus they have a sweet reality TV show. Sadly it is one year late to fully capture the greatness that I would have been. My journalism skills would really have shown up. Plus they had some CSU Media basketball game. That would have been my moment to shine. Miles would have asked me to walk on. This blog would be fucking bigger than Club Trillion. Why was I not born one-year later? Why did I graduate in such rapid fashion? I want to go back to college.Or onto an MTV show.

Tweets of the Week: 
Tjedy: When faced with a tough decision, ask yourself WWTSD: What Would 'The Situation' Do?
Messiahthadon: @tjedy I think the answer to every question is to take your shirt off
The_Real_Pat: @Messiahthadon and coincidentally, that's how @tjedy solves every problem.
-Again, if you don't have Twitter you are doing it wrong.

Not Jay Cutler: Looks like I should cross Brittany Murphy off my "Famous chicks to bang" list.

Nuggets: Trending down. Get your shit together. 1/3 of the season update with Edy will come soon. Or at his pace, we might be lucky to get it done by the fucking all-star game.

Avs: Semi-upwardslopish. As long as they aren't against the fighting Ovies, the Avs are doing pretty well.


Happy Holidays: I didn't get any of you bastards anything. That is a lie. Someday, when I am rich and famous, you will be the people that get to say "I like Sack when he started out, but that Douchezilla really sold out." So I am giving you the most precious gifts of all: Haughtiness and spite. If those were entities, this blog would be gushing like a fucking gyser.

Merry Birdmas, have a super Shawn Greenuka, a lovely Kwanza Kilpatrick, whatever. Give some gifts and whatnot.

Weekend Sack-Up: This losing shit sucks, let's do more of the winning thing

Christy Simms sucks my balls: Good lord, son, that was the worst interception ever. Even worse than Jake Plummer's left-handed shot put. That was Plummer's non-throwing hand, but you are actually left-handed. Fuck you and your absolutely awful announcer of a dad.

It looked like you fucking punted that ball, not kicked it. It would have been awesome if you were playing 500 in the schoolyard and called "Surprise Package," but unfortunatley it was a real life NFL game. If you even got that within a zip code of B-Marsh he would He-Man woman-beat anyone around to negate an interception.

We fired Mike Shannahan and then signed a back-up QB with an ankle tat of Shannahan's son. Maybe this was some sort of revenge? No one could throw such a shitty pass on accident. If you play against the Chargers I hope Merriman rapes you so hard that lose a kidney and liver. You don't have a spleen, pussy, but I didn't know you were also the tin man and the scarecrow. No heart, no brain. 100% FUCKKNUCKLE. Now we are tied with Los Chargeros and I might have to choke a bitch.

The Rest of the Broncos: You just lost to Washington. The Redskins, not the Capitals. Get your shit together. 6-0 doesn't mean shit if you don't win four more games the rest of the way. You are now tied atop the division with San Diego. You haven't won a game in a fucking month.

Champ looks like fucking Dre Bly lately, letting Hines Ward jump arr over roo and then whiffing on a huge tackle on third down during the comeback drive.


B-Dawk also got run over by Betts on the goalline. I understand you were on the field for the whole second half because retard Simms couldn't find his ass with Google Maps, but you still gotta make that play. You are Mr. Defense, all that whoofing and crazy talking to the football shit, you have to tackle guys at the goal line. Send a message. Instead, we saw you get run over like some roadkill.

Gotta be a Chargers fan in disguise.(HT- KSK)

McD. You got outcoached by Jim Zorn, and the assortment of random guys in charge of the Redskins since Danny Snyder took away Zornies offensive playcalling keys. That is not good. The Orton-injury is pretty big, because he was Ballin,' but why wouldn't we stick to the run when it became apparent Lefty Simms was channeling another erratic lefty, Phil Mickelson.

The defensive line folded like a cheap table late yet again. It is apparent this team is only built to play in the lead and can't handle a second half deficit. Not good. We got pretty lucky to start of 6-0 and now it evening out. It can all be remedied with a victory next weekend though. Beat some Charger ass and I will be happy again.

Special teams. I hate you. Mitch Fucking Berger sucks. And he is from CU. So he doubly sucks. Cut him now, please. An about 30 Broncos were expecting a fake punt, but not one of them could cover Mike Sellers. How fucking retarded are you guys?

Random Celeb Note: I still love Rihanna and have been rocking all her new songs, but I'm afraid she might be a bit resistant to rough sex nowadays, for some reason? That could be an issue for me and really doom our relationship. I think January Jones Betty Draper will have to be my new go to celeb wife. Bangable? You bet. A tad bit crazy? For sure. I would be faithful to you, Miss Draper.


CSU football didn't lose: We also didn't play. But the important thing is we didn't lose. I also notice, that dating back to my last blog I had two years ago, CSU hasn't won many games for me. These assholes better beat New Mexico. Beat them like Mike "Tom Cable, Jr." Locksley beats his assistants. End this stupid losing streak and then ruin Wyoming's chance at a bowl. This season may be disapointing, but it can end on a high note. Make this happen. Don't go out like bitches.

Kory Sperry scored a TD this weekend for the Dolphins. He is one big, MEASTLY looking motherfucker. Good for him. Plus he has tattoos.

(HT: Sun Sentinel)

Greg Camarillo really kinda horned in on Sperry's trademarked chest-pounding after a TD.

The Avs are also returning to Earth: Another Colorado team with a fantastic start and then they begin to fade as the season progresses. Heard this story before? I have. It is like one of those weekends when they play Cast Away all weekend, non-stop. I just sit there watching it, hoping the whole time that Tom Hanks comes home to a hotter wife than Helen Cunt and doesn't lose Wilson. Never happens, but two hours later I find myself watching again.

It is a long season and the Avs have a lot of guys coming back, so hopefully they get back on the grind. Matt Duchene will break out soon, along with Son of Statsny, so they could carry the Avs for a bit.

 The Avs also got new jerseys, and boy are they, uh, nice. Santa, no need to stuff one of these down my fake chimney this year. Plus it will be kind of toxic in there, as I plan on burning my Jay Cuntler jizz rag jersey this year.

Speaking of Cunty, ole Boy:

Just missed that jersey number, didn't ya?

The more picks you toss, the higher the Broncos draft pick will be. 

AJ and Big Teej will now go light themselves on fire.

 

At least the Nuggets offer hope: Beating some Laker ass. #DatswhatI'mtalking bout. I would like a Ty Lawson poster as well DJ Mbenga, but I wouldn't want to be in it. Fix your face.



How is your publicist gonna spin that, DoucheJina Mbenga (Pretty sure that's what DJ stands for. And yes, according to Simmons Mbenga does have a publicist).

On a 1-Awesome scale, the Nuggs are as awesome as this Halloween costume. Den Dollock ain't got shit on this baby.

Stories from the club: Two good ones from this week. 1) After the night ended, these two semi-ghetto white trash feaux-gangsters who had been asked to stop flashing "gang" signs earlier, started shit with a group that was mostly girls. I don't know why it started, but it was going on after the club closed, out on the sidewalk, so we had to break it up. One of the tough guys, wearing a hat that repped East County (like repping Rifle or Pueblo, something no one should be proud of) started screaming at these girls that they were ugly and he wouldn't fuck any of them. He was bragging that he was being picked up in a town car, while they were waiting for a taxi. Big time for sure, but as he walked to the towncar screaming, he looked back to laugh and ran head first into a steetpole, loud enough for me to hear the audible "Dong" about 15 feet away. Still didn't shut him up, but it did give everyone a good laugh.

2) After the club closed Sat. some girl came up asking to go to the bathroom. I guess she wasn't hot enough or was a bitch (or maybe he was actually doing his job), but my boy Hank told her she couldn't come in. In anger, protest and just general need, she then decided to pull up her skirt and squat, right in front of the club exit. Her friend held up a shall or jacket to give her a little cover, but probably at least 20 people saw her piss like a gusher all outside the club (No R. Kelly). The only reason everyone on the block wasn't watching her was due to the fact that another girl had gotten a DUI for driving the wrong way down the one way street. Man do I love drunk people.

Tweet of the Week: (Follow me, if you wish) VeryFakeAlDavis

"Thank god the Twitter is around to help journalists compare Jay Cutler to Jeff George in real time."

On a related note, the great Drew Magary tells me why I love Twitter: Because black people think it is cool. I should have guessed that. A little know fact is that Chad Ochocinco represents 15%  (UnoCinco percento) of both Hispanics and blacks. 


Random CSU thoughts from Vegas, On why the good turnout, for a game so far from home with shitty teams: CSU fans will show up in mass to two games, against CU and in Las Vegas. Why? Because both of those games offer an awesome chance to party before and after. Hughes, while a blast to tailgate with the right people, doesn't offer that same expirience. When the football team loses a home game it tends to dampen, if not ruin completely, the enthusiam for the postgame party. After the CU/CSU game in Denver and the games in Vegas everyone still wants to get drunk anyway. CSU, and the city of Fort Collins, needs to create some sort of avenue to attract fans to the game. Drink specials at bars or resuraunts with a ticket stub, even a student stub. Concerts (even shitty ones like Common). Closing down the streets in Old Town for a night ala Brew Fest. Get better at football (hopefully on the way, but tough to see). Bring back College Daze (unless I somehow get elected President, never gonna happen).

Or simply, schedule a few more marquee opponents and play them in Denver. Who cares if we catch some ass whoopings? The fans will turn out for a big name opponent and we can start to turn Denver into a CSU town. The more they see CSU in Denver, the more likely grads will want to get a chance to return to Fort Collins. Market the games as a chance to reconnect with all your friends. Set up a system to make dorm hallway, frat, ASAP, or whatever group want to reconnect. Oh wait, there is this thing called Facebook that makes that pretty easy. Well, then start aggressively promoting such ideas. People want to stay connected if they feel they are missing out. So have events, have some interns take pictures and throw them up online. Better than creating Ram Town to attract transplant Foco residents who will be busy taking their runts to soccer practice anyway. Those type of people will attach themselves to the program when the team is good. They are called bandwagon fans, and all the marketing in the world won't work. You have to win to have them, and we certainly aren't doing enough of that.

Chargers Hatin' Vol. 2: Better get to know the Supercockbags

Oh boy, we got a teaser yesterday of my hatred for the San Diego Superchargers, as that goddamn awful song calls them. Yes, I alluded to the players, but today I get to really go after them. So buckle up and watch your ass for Merriman, because he's going to be looking for someone to rape after reading this (because he fucking loves Twitter, and I am throwing this up on Twitter. Tweet war, holler).

Advertisement break:

"Billy Mays here!!!! Hey, are you tired of only getting Matt's awesome opinions once or twice a day here on this blog, and afraid you might miss out on his Facebook updates because some stupid bitch is clogging your wall with "Which Sex and the City Character AM I, LOL?" quizzes (Answer: You would be the fat one that the girls on the show ditch and therefore isn't on the show at all, because NO ONE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU. Why am I even your Facebook friend again? That is it, defriended...Sorry, /rant)? 

Well then, come on down to Twitter and follow Messiahthadon so he can send his opinions to you all day, straight to your phone if you like. 

Check out this satisfied customer: 

Hi, I'm Trevor. @Messiahthadon is the best. Such a Hilarious Hernandez, that guy. Even more offensive than the WAC. If I didn't follow him, I'd have to swagger jack @the_real_pat, and no one wants to do that. I mean, Pat swagger jacks Steve Nash. Pretty gay, right? P.S. ThaDon earns more than I do.

Wow, thanks Trevor. Yet another satisfied customer. Again that is Messiahthadon. And if you aren't on Twitter, get with the program. How else would you follow the progress of #balloonboy all day, by watching CNN? This isn't 1994, get with the program."

I thought it was bad when Ice Cube made a Raiders song, but the Chargers topped that with, are you ready? Actually you are not. Before I say who sings this Chargers song, you need to make sure you have a spotter nearby, kinda like with auto-erotic asphyxiation.

All right. It is Tila Tequialla. Haha, that was a joke.

This isn't a joke; it is POD. What, was fucking Creed busy? The only thing worse would be those fags from The Fray making a Broncos song. (OH MY GOD! quickly checks Youtube to make sure this isn't true. Nope, not yet. Really glad those emos hate team sports because they got stick-raped by the football team at whatever shitty suburb school they attended, which Wiki says was a mix of Ralston Valley or Faith Chrisitian, so yes, they got raped. Also, I don't recommend searching for 'Denver Broncos songs,' nothing good can come from it).

All right, now with that aside I can jump into savaging Chargers players like they were tiny Azn/Mexican reality TV stars (Merriman x2, check):


Phillip Rivers
Aliases: Marmalard, Lazerface, Floats McGoats, Pip, Sir Douchington XVII, Falcon Heene (because he floats the ball like a parachute, see?), etc.

Picture:

Bio: Rivers claims to be a religious, married, down-to-eath, gee-shuck-by-golly good-ole-boy from Alabama, very similar to BrettFarve, but just like BrettFarve, he is really a giant twat. He claims he doesn't swear and makes a big deal of this, supports abstinence (what a flaming dick), but when you watch him you know he is possibly the worst human being on the field, even if he is opposing Mike Vick WHILE Mr. BadNewsKennelz is electrocuting dogs. He taunts everyone from fans to ball boys, acting an ass all the time.

Which might be cool, if he didn't have the most girlish throwing motion of all-time. I bet he is just so sick of people laughing at his fairy pop-flies that he just blacks out during the game and assumes everyone in the stadium is laughing at him, like he just got depantsed during Powder Puff volleyball in front of the whole school.

The horrible thing really is that he is a decent quarterback, whose strength is throwing longs floats to his talented receivers and tight ends, but no one outside San Diego will ever like him because he is a raging twatwaffle.

Bonus: If I practice my Laserface (see above, minus the makeup) enough before Halloween and this comes in the mail, I will have the easiest Halloween costume evar!!! I'll just throw on the shirt, get a douchy Chargers hat (probably steal it from a hobo), and grab a football. Whammo. Then I yell, "You betta' ask Somebodayyyy!" and "What, HUH, COCKWALLET" or "Fuck that fucking pussy LDT." It is sure to be a big hit.

LaDanian Tomlinson

Aliases: LaToeInjury, Princess, LDT, NOT LT because that is Lawrence Taylor, got it Chargerfucks?

Picture: Some random dude sitting on a park bench, just dressed in a Powder Blue t-shirt.

Bio: Once a fantastic story of the underdog who became supreme, LdT was lightly recruited, went to TCU, tore shit up, came to San Diego in the Mike Vick trade, tore more shit up, and then turned in to the world's fattest fucking pussy about two years ago. I get it, you bust up a toe and you aren't going to be as good, but man, he just acts like he doesn't care any more. Basically his career sums up the Chargers history. A dynamic offensive force that bursts onto the scene and tantalizes with potential for championships, but ultimately fizzles out when the going gets tough. Shit, at least Natrone Means got to play in a Super Bowl.

Additionally, Chargers fans and ESPN douches love to call him LT, but everyone on Earth knows there is one true LT and that is Lawrence Taylor, quarterback-raper extraordinaire. He played games while yayed out of his got-damn mind after banging hookers all night long, he wasn't about to let some turf-toe or a low ankle sprain keep him down. But San Diego fans are too damn lazy to come up with something better.

Shawne Merriman

Aliases: Rapey McRoidy, Tequilla Sunrise, Lights-Out

Picture:

Bio: Merriman has the nickname "Lights out" because that is the state he likes chicks when he bangs them. He then shows off his awesome sexing technique after a sack, feigning a choke, a few seconds of rapid thrusting and a donkey punch. Ain't he cute.

He has been suspended for steroid abuse, just like his fellow Charger, defensive lineman Luis Castillo (I'm guessing his first name is Luis, hell if I know). He also has serious issues with women. He and Brandon Marshall could be buddies, 'cept I know B-Marsh ain't dumb enough to be seen with Tila Tequilla. Who the fuck does that? Probably someone like Shawne, who is obviously overcompensating for being named Shawne.

And for his tiny penis.

Plus, just like LdT, he is a damn swagger-jacker of the OG LT. Wears number 56 and rushes from the blind side. I'm also sure LT beat up some hookers first. Now jump on that Cocaine Train, Shawne, unless you are a pussy.

Also, Mr. Merriman and several of the Chargers like to frequent some local bars in San Diego. Guess which one on Thursdays? Guess which blogger probably won't be talking about his blog too much on Thursdays when he works there as a bouncer? Yep, me. But with my knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, we could have a real EPICFAIL story on here. Or on TMZ.

Vincent Jackson and Chris Chambers

Alias: The Booze Brothers

Picture: This guy, except he is DRIVING A FUCKING CAR

Bio: You ever wonder when Rivers throws his fucking moonballs why the defense doesn't pick off every single one, it is because these two drunken jackasses (each popped at least once for a DUI) don't actually run routes so much as they just stagger around until a pass falls to them or they pass out behind the wheel, I assume. Sadly, for the defense, they are big, fast and impossible to cover because they have super-drunken abilities to sprint forever, but not in a straight line. Add in the fact that the Chargers have an awesome offense line and a usually solid running game, and the defensive back covering them won't have much safety help.

Fun fact: Vincent Jackson went to UNC. The one in Greeley, not Chapel Hill. I don't really blame him for being wasted 24/7. I try to be when I am in Greeley. In fact, often I take a shit ton of Vicadin when I am there and pretend I am in a painting that is a Salvador Dali and Norman Rockwell fusion. Plus, Greeley cops are too busy plotting to kill each other like they are in a bad soap opera, so who is going to give you a DUI?

Darren Sproles:

*No I didn't forget to write about Tiny Darren, but it is so small you can't see it. HAHAHAHA.

Fuck, he just scored on another kick return.

Antwan Cason

Bio: My roommate Jake went to the University of Arizona with Cason, and says he is actually a good dude who did a lot of community service work and shit. But Jake is a fucking dick, so I assume Cason is as well. Transitive property, or something.

Gartrell Johnson and Kory Sperry

Picture: Any excuse to post this 

Bio: Guess how excited I was when I found out that two CSU Rams would be in San Diego along with me? Plus I live just blocks from Qualcomm. OMG, I was just sure we would be BFF. Shit, on my first day I even saw two Chargers at Chipotle (I was sure. They were giant black men wearing Chargers gear and sandals with socks, something only athletes do). I was rocking a CSU shirt, and they were totally staring me down. And then, just days later, the fucking Chargers cut Gartrell, and he signed with the Giants. Sperry was cut a couple weeks before and signed with Miami. Guess what Chargers, I had two reasons to like you guys, and you just fucked that up. This is like finding out that Hitler was a BoSox fan, just more reason to hope he burns in Hell.

Jacob Hester

Bio: Hey buddy. There is only room for one white, scrappy, white, adorable, overachieving, (did I mention white) fullback/tailback in the AFC West, and that guy is Peyton Hillis, not you. Go to Canada or the UFL, dick.

Nate Kaeding

Bio: I mentioned this yesterday, but WD Sherle swears this guy is the biggest stoner he has ever met. And WD fucking lived with a kid named Filly's Blunt. Plus Kaeding went to Iowa, so fuck him in his Hawkeye.

Junior Seau

I know he doesn't play for the team anymore, but fuck him in his fucking peehole. No one was John Elway's whipping boy more (except Lance), and I loved watching him as his Super Bowl dreams died in Arizona against the Giants. Get over it old man, if you couldn't win on an undefeated team you won't win ever.

Plus, you keep trying to play with the Pats, but your restaurant just down the road from me features a bigass Charger's logo and helmet on the sign. Pick a fucking team.

Norv Turner

Yeah, he is the coach and a total halfwit, but I think Chargers fans hate him more than I do. Without him this Chargers team is talented enough to win a Super Bowl. With him, they will never do shit. I really feel he is Wade Phillips' bastard brother, or something.

Tomorrow I start work as a bouncer, so there could be stories about that. Otherwise, I am trying to get a Nuggs/Avs preview (albeit a little late for the latter) up soon. Then CSU recap on Sunday/late Sat. Then my tailgating plans for the SD/Denver game. Or I might just get really rip-roaring drunk and do nothing much all weekend. We'll see...